Being together long-term is wonderful, and the all important weekly or monthly date night really makes a difference in terms of showing each other you care, and enjoying stress free special time together with no distractions. You can go out for dinner, go for a walk, go and do an activity like bowling or indoor golf, or maybe visit a theme park or animal attraction.
There’s also, of course, the option of staying at home. Many people may dismiss this option as being boring, lazy or uninspired, and of course it can be if you both sit together both on your phone’s, not talking to each other, eating food off your laps.
However, a date night at home doesn’t need to be boring, in fact, it can be a cost-effective, convenient way to enjoy your time together without having to worry about getting public transport or designated drivers, making dinner reservations or deciding what to do. It can also be a lot of fun if going out just isn’t an option because you can’t find a sitter for the kids, mobility is a challenge or your watching your pennies and dollars a bit more carefully. Even if you can’t go out on some extravagant date night, spending quality time together is very important for the health of your relationship.
In the following tips, you’ll find all the information you need to create the most amazing date night together at home, so you can have the most incredible time without even stepping foot out the door:
Save The Date
You need to both commit to a date night together, including a time to meet so you are both clear about exactly when is dedicated time together. This will avoid any arguments later down the line and gives you time to get ready.
It is really important to prepare for the date night together, before the date night itself. This makes it feel like more of an event, but also ensures that you don’t have to waste time going out and getting supplies, and there’s no crushing of the mood with house cleaning. Make sure all the chores are done, the house is tidy and welcoming, and check you have everything in the house you need for a great time.
Clearly if you have a babysitter you need some emergency contact open in case anything bad happens and they have to contact you. Why not have a specific old phone on hand that is fully charged that your babysitter has the number to, that way you won’t be worrying in case something is wrong, but you will still be able to turn your everyday phone off.
It is so important you both commit to turning your phones off as there have been so many studies to show smartphones kill romance, dead. Fight the urge to sink into double chin face and idly browse when you should be making your partner feel special. If you put as much time into your partner on date night as most people do on their phone, your partner would likely feel very tended to.
You know when you were first dating and you would take ages getting ready, and you would get butterflies just before they saw you because you knew the moment they laid eyes on you they would be like ‘wow’. Keep that moment. Believe it or not you can still achieve an air of mystery and a big reveal living in the same house together. You might have to work logistics out, perhaps he needs to get changed in his office, or promise not to come upstairs after a certain time, but it is doable and a great way to make each other feel like you made the effort for each other. Plus, it will be like reliving the early days when you spend ages preening and prepping in anticipation of time with this special person you’ve been missing all day.
Set The Mood
Set the mood to get you both ready for an enjoyable night. Address all the senses and create a romantic effect.
- Sight – Does the main ‘date room’ look tidy? Could you put a faux fur throw down on the sofa or some blankets? Perhaps some flowers in a vase would look nice, perhaps you could even gift them? How about some cute fairy lights dotted around the room to give a pretty and romantic glow to the space?
- Sound – What is your favourite album to listen to together? Maybe you could listen to a new album as an experience to enjoy as a couple? Some ambient background music might be more suited to your taste?
- Touch – Perhaps opt for sensual fabrics in your outfit, like silks and laces. Maybe you could have some massage oil on hand, in case things heat up (wink wink).
- Taste – Regardless of what you’re cooking for dinner, it’s always nice to have some of your favourite treats out to enjoy. Maybe some caramel fondant chocolates to start the evening, or a glass of champagne? You could even go for oysters if you’re wanting to ramp up the aphrodisiac factor. If you want to keep it simple, tasty and romantic strawberries are a great option.
- Smell – Give the ‘date space’ a nice smell with an essential oil inspired reed diffuser, like our Oojra Thai Jasmine Bamboo Reed Diffuser. Jasmine promotes a sense of wellbeing, romance and calm, soothing the mind and enhancing a romantic atmosphere with its sweet, rich aphrodisiac scent. Or you can also try Oojra’s Thai Jasmine Bamboo essential oil soy wax candle to give your date night a sexier candle vibe.
Although you could get a takeaway, cooking at home is so much more satisfying, cost effective and fun, on date night at least. You could take turns cooking for each other, or cook together.
One enjoyable thing to do is to take a new cookbook, or pick a chef or food blog you like, and each pick a starter, main and dessert you would like to make, then put each set of two in a hat picking out one of each option until you have a full course.
Or you could choose together if that sounds more enjoyable to you. Either way, pop on those aprons and have a little fun creating some delicious food. If it goes wrong, you always have that takeaway leaflet in the drawer!
Whether you’re eating takeaway or something cooked from scratch, don’t fall into the trap of eating in front of the TV. Make it special and eat at the table over candlelight, or maybe set up a picnic area on the floor with cushions and rugs.
Enjoy the food together and talk about everything and anything, getting to know your partner is a lifetime commitment. And on date night, it is a great option to leave logistical conversation and conversations about the kids off the table.Make the conversation about the two of you, your dreams, hopes and connection.
This often gets lost in logistics in most of our day to day lives and it is important in maintaining the spark and connection in a relationship.
Get Close to Each Other
It can become easy to fall into one of two traps with physical intimacy in a long-term relationship. One is to get into a habit of not touching each other at all, often because there is some hidden assumption that it needs to lead to sex – no kisses, hugs or holding hands. If this is you, it is a great idea to let date night be a no pressure touch zone. Massaging each other might be a fun and relaxing way to revisit that physical intimacy without any pressure. Or maybe a little dance could be fun?
The second bad habit is to designate sex to date night. This works for some people and that is great, but sometimes the pressure can take the fun out of it, and it becomes more of a chore than an enjoyable expression of love. Spice it up and add in some physical touch that builds anticipation. Anticipation can be so much fun. This can be wonderful for bonding, and can reignite the flame of romance, which may naturally lead to sex anyway, the point is that it doesn’t have to. And if you are just hot for each other and can’t keep your hands off each other, kudos!
Have A Plan
This sounds a bit counter-intuitive when it comes to romance because exciting love is spontaneous and wild and free right? We’re certainly not disputing that, but having a plan stops any arguments or boredom. It doesn’t have to be rigid. It can just be an agreed activity, a board game, food and dessert and massage. It may just be takeaway, cuddles and chatting – that is unique to you, but having a plan means you have a set of activities to do throughout the night so there are always things to talk about or enjoy together – organisation takes the pressure off, which is so important if you’re an indecisive couple. If you end up going off course with wild sex, chatting and laughing, playing with the dog, or anything else – that’s amazing too.
Hopefully, with the right amount of effort and preparation, you won’t need to moan about chores not being done, about the choice of film or about anything else, which is great because it means no negativity.
Maybe your life together is a bit strained right now, you might be new parents, or you both work a lot, perhaps you’re just having a tough time. Whatever your lives are like right now, you don’t need to be getting at each other about anything negative tonight.
Date night is a celebration of love, so if you are stressed, angry or frustrated, leave it at the door. Focus on all the good things about your life and partner. Maybe do a quick breathing, gratitude and meditation exercise before you meet, like those on popular mindfulness app Headspace or on this free 15 minute guided meditation for clearing negativity.
“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.” – Walter Winchell
Happy Date Night X